In a world where every family moment is a potential Instagram post, sharenting has become a digital rite of passage for parents. Welcome to the world of sharenting, a fusion of “sharing” and “parenting” where parenting meets social media. It’s a digital playground, but is it all fun and games? Beyond the smiles and likes lie complex questions about privacy, consent, and the long-term consequences for our children. Get ready for a reality check on the digital dilemma that is reshaping the landscape of modern parenthood.
Sharenting isn’t just about capturing adorable moments, it’s about turning the everyday chaos of parenting into a shared human experience. It also serves as a therapy session for parents worldwide. Thanks to social media some learn that they’re not bad parents and find new hacks to raise their mini me.
For the parents sharing their kids’ lives doing it on social media is also a way to get some type of approbation, like “you’re doing great” “yes, your son is cute”.
Furthermore, sharing pictures of our little ones is not new. In almost every grandmother’s house there are photo albums of all her descendants. Today, many people live far away from their family, whether it’s in another region/city or in another country. Sharing pictures online is just a new way to update their relatives, everyone gets to “see” the last grandchild grow.
Why do we, and your child, hate it?
Sadly, sharenting is not harmless fun, it drags serious concerns on children’s consent, security and privacy. Sharenting can attract a lot of negative attention.
Consent is not just important for sex, it also matters when it comes to your child’s digital footprint
For some a parent’s consent is enough to post a picture of their offspring, but I doubt knowing your future recruiter can have first-hand access to picture and videos of you, butt-naked mispronouncing a word when you were 3 is anyone’s dream.
In 2015, 13%[1] of children expressed their embarrassment towards the pictures of them posted by their parents on social media. One out of ten children have asked their parents to remove said pictures. One of the kids known for such action is Apple Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter. On a 2015 instagram birthday post by her mother, Apple commented that she did not consent to said post. She later posted another slideshow on the platforms with a screenshot showing it was approved by her teen.
You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to get your kid’s consent. If they’re too young to consent, it probably means they’re too young for their face to be all over the internet.
Don’t supply child pornography websites for free, pedophiles know how to take a screenshot from your instagram account, they’re vile, not boneheaded.
Nowadays, children’s digital footprint often begins the days following their birth, if not the day of their birth, when parents post a picture of their face, full name and date of birth. A security.org report shows that these kinds of post only heighten the risks of children getting their identity stolen, today 14%[2] of parents report their kid’s identity was stolen. This number is bound to increase. A stolen identity probably won’t have a negative impact on their childhood, but it can be problematic as they grow and start getting credits and financial responsibilities.
Once you post something on social media you lose the control of it; stop thinking that deleting the pictures will delete them from everywhere, anyone can take a screenshot and repost it somewhere else without you knowing it. Half of the pictures available on these kinds of websites come from social media. Also, do not forget that it’s very easy to photoshop your kid’s face onto another naked body even though they were fully dressed on the picture you posted.
What if you want to keep on sharenting, but you somehow want to respect your kid’s privacy?
A Deutsche Telekom ad, released in July 2023, revealed that 8 out of 10 parents have followers they’ve never met. To start sharenting “safely” you’ll first need to create a private account on which you personally know every single one of your followers. The quote marks I put at safely matter, zero-risk doesn’t exist.
For now, there’s no specific law on the matter but France is working on it, and other states will probably follow. Following a 2022 report on children’s privacy, members of the French National Assembly proposed a law to regulate the exposure of minors on social networks. On October 10, 2023, this bill was re-examined. This new reading aims to amend the French Civil Code by, for example, enshrining the parental authority of the private notion, i.e. the obligation of parents to ensure respect for their child’s private life, including his or her right to image, as part of their prerogatives linked to the exercise of parental authority. The proposal also envisages the possibility of family court judges prohibiting parents from publishing photos of their children on social networks. A final article, added by the senators and amended by the deputies, enables the French National Commission on Information Technology and Liberties to take legal action to request any measure to safeguard children’s rights in the event of failure to comply with or respond to a request for the deletion of personal data under article 51 of the French Data Protection Act. Lastly, the bill aims to create a forced partial delegation of parental authority in the event of the dissemination of a child’s image seriously undermining his or her dignity or moral integrity.
Don’t be one of these parents who know that sharenting is problematic and keep on doing it. I can’t stop you from doing it, but I’ll help your child sue you once they’re in age to consent, if one of the posts you made without their consent ever harms them.
Sources :
[1] Family Online Safety Institute, 2015
[2] https://www.security.org/digital-safety/child-identity-theft/
https://dergipark.org.tr/en/download/article-file/2515264
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4WZ_k0vUDM&t=12s